Sunday, March 1, 2009

seeking special (as opposed to dull) people*

"Hi there. My name is Kate, I'm a 23 year old female, looking to make new friends...I like stuff....I'm not a loser......really...."

Hmmm, okay, does that sound too.....desperate??? I can't believe I have stooped to this new low. Searching for friends online. Wow, maybe I AM a loser??

About a year ago, after a huge internal debate, I thought "What the hell? What have I got to lose?" I logged onto the seeking friends section, and I replied to a few ads in the friends only page of gumtree. I even posted one of my own. After some consideration I decided I'M not weird and I'm on here, so these other people might be okay...

And I was right!

My first "date" was with Samantha. I was a little cautious, not quite sure what to expect, waiting on the street watching every 25ish looking girl approaching, wondering "is that her?" or "oh no, not her."

I needn't have worried. Sam was great! Just the kind of girl I'd take home to meet my mother. We had a few drinks at a little bar on Burke Rd in Camberwell, and chatted until the wee hours of the morning. We had a lot in common, lots to talk and laugh about, and neither of us were weird losers! Just happy, easy-going girls, finding it hard to meet people either in a new city (me) or when you are working long, busy days (Sam.)

I caught up with Sam a few times over the next few months, and went on to meet many more girls. One sunny afternoon someone on gumtree organised a barbeque on the Yarra and I nervously went along. I discovered about 30 normal, nice, interesting people all wanting to meet new people and finding it hard in a big city.

How is it that so many of us are feeling the same thing? How is it possible there is so many interesting, funny, normal, lovely people out there, all feeling so lonely?

I'm glad I gave gumtree a try. Although I didn't make any life long friends, I put myself out there and met some great people. It was better to feel like I was giving it ago instead of sitting on my couch whinging about it.

I recommend everyone give it a try! It's a little nerve-wracking, and you have to wade through the weird ads to find the reasonably normal sounding ones, but its a lot of fun....

infact, maybe I need to dust off my profile....

*(title stolen from an ACTUAL ad)


  1. I always thought you really had guts for doing this! But you're exactly right -- what does one have to lose, really? What's the harm in putting yourself in a situation where you get to meet new people?

    I was talking about this kind of thing with another friend of mine the other day; how hard it is to make friends as an adult. We had it lucky as kids -- school's a great place to meet people!

  2. Thanks! You're exactly right, school made everything so much easier... for most i suppose! Meeting people, forced to be creative!!
    Its hard as adults to meet new people, and even if you manage to meet some awesome people its always awkward hard trying to make it that next step without sounding completely needy and begging "can we please be friends?"

  3. i love this post kate. i've half-attempted to meet new friends this way & haven't YET had the guts. now that i hear you've had nice normal fun experiences.... hell, i might give it a try! i've heard people talk about meeting up with other bloggers in real life which i think is cool. but it's a funny concept hey... thinking you know someone because you read thjeir blog & then being so iffy about getting a chai latte with them! xx

  4. My girlfriend and I have had only bad experiences with houses to live in on Gumtree recently so we are very disillusioned with it right now. But you're giving me some hope.

    Anyhow, I've got to go and find a new house to live in!

  5. Hehe I've never tried the house searching on Gumtree, so I can't vouch for that! Try for sharehouses, i've always had great luck on there. GOOD LUCK!

  6. I don't like the idea of paying to communicate with people. Although I suppose it's like the old adage, if you pay peanuts (or nothing) you get monkeys.

  7. haha yeah i suppose that makes sense! oh well, good luck none the less, house hunting is so stressful!... something will come up!

  8. Call me a little slow but I'm reading this a good 25 days after you posted it. Great post though.
    I had a similar experience while living in Korea & meeting other foreigners through facebook. It was great and opened up a whole social scene that I wouldn't have found otherwise. I even made a few quality friends who I still keep in touch with.

    Strangely I find it harder to meet new people here in Melbourne, my hometown, than I did overseas. I suppose I'm not a minority anymore, just another Aussie bloke. Post grad uni was the same. Everyone in their twenties is already so busy with their own lives and has a close circle of friends who they probably grew up with. There was one person I met up with through a few years ago who turned out to be a right ol' fruitcake. Good to hear you've had a little more success.